life as story

I have been thinking about my life as a story- as the things that I do everyday strung together to make "katy: her story" and I have been wondering if it might be a little boring. If it might need a bit more "direction" - I think I have an interesting "setting" and I am not sure what the plot is- but I am pretty sure that it could use a bit more structure, a bit more intent-
So, last night as I read about Jesus giving Himself over and over and over again- and how he "spiced" things up by saying "Which is easier, to forgive sins or say get up and walk?" - like there is a "duh" answer to that one- um...both are impossible Jesus :)
As He said this- and then stunned the crowd, the religious people and even the guy himself who came to be healed and then left with the promise of forgiveness.....I thought, this is the story I am joining. This is the story that has become my story!
So, I am trying to live the Story today!

redirected

I keep saying and thinking that I want to "do something" after I finish my language studies. Those "somethings" typically mean something with refugees, something with peace studies, something with reconciliation, something. but all of these somethings require a lot of learning on my part. So. I have decided that if I am going to "seriously" do "something" I need to get started. I have books here that I could read, things I could do- but they will all require a lot more discipline than I currently have- so, hopefully this blog is a declaration of sorts- to start the engine and get a move on! of course this will all have to happen in my "spare" time...but I do have some, and I want to use it wisely!!!

a break

It seems that I have fully latched on to the idea of "sabbath" - I have "made" myself have a day where I do "nothing" but what I want to do, and even take that down a few notches. I used to have to fight for this day- make myself take it, make myself not to hang out with friends or make "plans" for the day. It was hard work and I fought even myself. But now, I love it. I don't even think about saying "yes" to plans on Friday. No is my first thought and desire.
I have fallen in love with the idea that I have a day to sleep in, watch movies, read books, veg out or whatever. A true day of rest. I love it.
Today I got an extra day of rest, and boy has it been awesome. I have enjoyed having extra time to "think" and read and watch a few movies (thanks Jessica and fam!)

great day

fighting Arabic has days that you seem to be slaughtered and death is right around the corner. And then other days, everything seems to be going right and you can chat for hours.
After a week of getting slapped around by the lovely language, I came out on top today. I have spent a lot of time studying (which always results in better Arabic days!) And today I held my own in an "all Arabic environment" for about 3 hours!!! It felt great! I like getting it right :)
I am really enjoying being back here - my trip to Beirut and Mom's visit seems to have put me in "my right mind" (if I have such a thing). I have been studying, talking, hanging out- and seem to have energy that I had forgotten (I think this means that I am through the first few waves of culture shock) I am reading the book of Luke and have been amazed at how fresh the story is this time around. I have seen Jesus stand up to thousands of mis-perceptions of who He is, what He should do, how He should do it- He came and lived (died, rose, and is coming again) - lived the Kingdom of God. He didn't get bogged down in trying to make sure everyone "got it" nor did He change the message to make it easier- He lived it. He proclaimed it- He explained it. No matter what.

busy

I have been so busy lately that I still have 3 unpacked suitcases in my room and countless clothes strown everywhere and dishes are beginning to pile up. I have about 2 hours of homework left for the day- so, this too will be short.
Since I last wrote I have traipsed all over Amman and Jordan with my mom, put her on a plane back home (a bit earlier than expected because of things back in NC) and then caught up on much needed rest and homework.
So- there are about 200 new pictures on my pics sight- so follow the link on the left!

back from Beirut

I love my trip to Beirut- it was great fun and I got to do everything that I wanted to do- and i got to see most of my friends. I will post pictures soon-

Ah Beirut!!

Oh- I so love this city. I love the life it offers, the tension of those who live here, the hope that something may be better tomorrow, the fear that things might get worse, the sea, the mountains, the shisha everywhere, the city- it is just wonderful.
Plus, I feel as though I have good friends here- so it is fun hanging out with them.
I am enjoying my time here, and loving "fitting" in this great city. I am more and more sure that this is where I want to live when I grow up than ever before!
Happy Eid!! I hope that you are enjoying your days as much as I am - I am sitting at a cafe, using their free internet, drinking a lemonade with mint, hearing arabic all around me, and enjoying the continuous traffic and horn honking outside the window.
Man, I love this city!

surely goodness, mercy and madness shall follow me

all the days of my life- :)
Today has been one of those days. It started with no taxis this morning, so I was late to school. Then, I couldn't say anything right, not even when I was repeating after the teacher! I went to the BC after school and I was saying everything wrong and thinking "ENGLISH- please, say something I understand!!!!" (which is unusual because yesterday I was there and chatted with everyone - in Arabic- for 2 hours.
After that, I came home, made some mac and cheese, and then went off to tutor my friends. I got there at 3, and forgot that they have play practice until 4. So, I was an hour early - no big deal! I have an Ipod. So, I sat down on the steps and listened to "this american life." But then 4:15 rolls around and the kids come tell me that play practice won't end until 5. I had made plans for 4:30 and had already changed them....so I had to leave at 5:00 exactly. So, no tutoring.
I then go to meet my friends (Dutch boy and FTP) so we can go to iftar (the meal that breaks the Ramadan fast every night). We get in the taxi and plans change again. Dutch boy's phone is dead- so we can't call the guy we are going to meet. We are in a taxi who of course has to stop and get gas. Then, the taxi won't start. So, the taxi driver asks for a push (there are 4 people in the car and 2 little asian men are trying to push it up a hill) So, FTP and I get out and then they ask us to help push. we get out and of course, everyone gets out their cell phones and starts snapping pictures!!! the car starts, we get back in) The taxi driver says that it will cost 7.50 us to get to the place....but we know it should only cost about 5 dollars- so the fighting ensues. We tell him no, tell him we will get out, tell him that we don't have it- he won't listen....fighting, fighting, etc. etc. etc.
Then we finally get there, get out of the taxi, pay the guy- he drives away- fussing of course- and we call out friend....he's not even there yet!!!!
So,we go in and he comes - and we have a fantastic night with 2 guys, their mom and a bunch of americans eating some fantastic food and chatting, laughing and just generally having a blast-
so, yes- goodness, mercy and madness follow me everyday :)

surprise

So, I go to school- really not looking forward to the day- Arabic is a bear that must be fought daily (and today i wasn't in the bear fighting mood) And then I saw it. I saw it, a package on the table. i thought- Could that be mine?
I walked over and saw my name clearly printed on the box. Immediately I began picking at the tape, trying to open it. Once I opened it, I saw walmart bags (oh, the little things you forget not being in the US) and then- wait for it, wait for it- DR. PEPPER!!!!
I got a package from home (dear friends sent it to me) and it made my day.
I spent the next few hours in class, then I went to the BC and showed off my package and chatted for a few hours. Then, off to tutoring and then home. I just sat down for a few minutes of rest - and then it is back to bear fighting....homework!!!!!
I am really looking forward to break- it will be nice to have a few days without obligations....I am beginning to see that I have a really hard time enjoying "obligations"- I can do it for a while, but then I just cave under the stress. I have to figure out a way to be grateful for the day, all of the activities in day- not just the things I want to do. I need to see the "tasks" of the day as "good gifts" as well as the movies, laughs and fun times that I have.
I am just not sure how to do that!

life

There are Ramadan lights blinking in the house next door, cars and fireworks in the street. Ramadan is almost over- praise God!- and I purchased tickets today to go to Beirut for Eid (the party/holiday after Ramadan.) I am very excited about going back to Beirut. The last time I saw that great city was with anti-aircraft in the distance. So, I am looking forward to seeing it again, hanging out with old friends and just relaxing for a few days.
I have a lot to do before I go- because mom comes as soon as I get back! and i probably will have a test while she is here- so I want to study up before whe comes.
I have had a busy day- and look forward to some Dr. Pepper tomorrow as i celebrate the resurrection and the hope of our coming King!

Don't Freak Out

But I actually bought a brush today. I know, for most of you that is no big deal. But I have not owned a brush in over 3 years- after all if your hair isn't longer than your fingers, there really is no need for a brush. But, at last, after much pain and suffering, my hair is actually long enough to need a brush. (But I use "need" very loosely here- my hair barely goes behind my ears, so I am not sure that it is able to get tangled!)
I have bee extremely busy- but tonight was a TON of fun. I think for the first time since I got here I felt like I was "home." I was invited to a party at the BC by some friends- there names are Jlo and Now (these of course are not their real names, but Jlo is always dressed to the nines and Now's real name sounds like the arabic word for now :) They are from Amman and are studying English- but most importantly they love to laugh, put up with my Arabic, and I get to see them almost everyday) We have become buddies and tonight I was able to hang out with them- and just them (and about 200 other people at the party!) But it was the first time that I was able to go to a party, not expecting to speak english, and I actually was able to participate in the conversation and fun. There was live music, so we all clapped and they sang along. We talked, laughed and just had a blast! I had to leave early because I have class tomorrow- but I didn't want to leave. (a first in an all arabic situation! So, I must be learning something at this school!) It was a great time and I think I feel more at home tonight than ever!
I have another incredibly busy day tomorrow- but I have a brush, so that will save me about 15 sec. in the getting ready :)

busy

I am very busy this week- and I seem to get busier as the days go by. Today, I went to class (like I do almost everyday!) Then I went over to the BC and caught up with my friends. Then, I studied and went off to the Balad- the local "suuq" or almost a suuq. Then, I went and tutored some friends. After all of that , I came home. Then I made "the" meal of the day (Ramadan makes it hard to really eat during the day- so I had cashews, honey nut cheerios and dried fruit as snacks all day.) After my meal, I broke out the books- again. I had to catch up on the homework so that I will be "on task" tomorrow.
Tomorrow is actually worse- tutoring until 5:30 and then I just got a call and the "group" wants to come over. There is an "official" couple in the group now (Cali and Steps) and now they need "safe" places to hang out. This means that my house is even more enticing to them. So, they are probably going to be here tomorrow night.
Then, on Wednesday, I was invited to a party at the BC for Ramadan. This is great because it will be more time with my friends from there. But I am being tutored all afternoon, so Wednesday is going to be madness.
And then, finally the "weekend" will be here- and I have to go out for a friend's birthday.
So, I am pretty sure that I will be doing NOTHING on Friday ;) enjoying no plans and making sure I don't get any :)
Being this busy makes it hard to catch up on emails, blogs, phone calls, and such. But, I like being busy- especially during Ramadan when there is nothing else to do.
Ok- so, I am done for the night....think I might try to catch half a movie before I go to bed :)