been doing some thinking

Do you ever look back in the "short past" (that is 6 months to a year ago) and compare yourself to what you are now? Not your circumstances, not your friends, but you.
I have been looking into the short past lately and I am really amazed at how much I have changed over the last year. I remember being in Dallas, the concerns I had about trusting God and moving to Amman, the way I hedged and planned every contingency so that I wouldn't have to look like I was "failing". And I see myself now, studying Arabic, not knowing what the future holds, but really holding on and enjoying the ride.
I see the way I was so concerned with being right and how grace has come in an overshadowed most of that.
I see how I was eager to serve, and now, not so much. I have to confess that serving sounds better than it actually is. It is exhausting and takes all of your time. I am trying to place myself in situations where I can serve better.....
But, I have been looking back and it is rather exciting. I wonder what is churning inside of me now that I will look back and marvel at in the future!