Rescue

I feel as if I need to be rescued. I have a TON of homework that is preventing me from just enjoying my days...and yet my homework is being used to transform my thinking...and at times it changes so quickly that I can't even keep up. I read almost 300 pages today and I have a repeat preformance planned for tomorrow....lots of new thoughts, lots of new ideas, lots of time wasted, lot of trees killed to make the books, lot of pepsi, lot of coffee, lot of time alone with a book
I feel like I need to be rescued because I feel like I am in a room full of Star Treck fans when I have never seen a full episode all the way through. I love stories, so I want to fit in...but I don't know any of the characters- I don't know any of the places, I don't know any of the languages. I am left to stand in the corner and watch everybody else talk, laugh and play. I try to tell them that I am lost- but they don't seem to get it. They think that if they give me the place names and a few of the character names that I will be ok...but they keep correcting me. They keep telling me what I am to think, do, etc. My creativity...what? I can think something different? What, I don't have to agree for you to like me? What, I can think that there is more than one answer to that question? What, I don't have to value "right" more than relationship- but I can value both? Really, I am not sure you think that....because if I don't talk right, if I disagree, if I probe a bit- I am wrong, I am in the corner, I am alone.
yep...i need rescuing! I need to get out of this "think tank" where no thinking is taking place, rather books are being read, pages written and we are becoming more and more fixed in our ways.
We don't know it all....we need to think, re-think and then ask some other people and re- think that again....
but, no - it is easier to just call them "wrong" cause then I can be "right" and sleep well