I have been struck with my attempts to redeem myself lately. The most blaring was tonight where we (me and 7 other singles from my church) headed over to the pastor's house to eat and play games. It was a great night...but I found myself immediately vying for position in the group- sizing up the girls to see if I had competition (for what???) and then the boys. I didn't think about living in grace- I thought about proving myself, making my mark. Why do I do this??????
I left wondering if I did enough, if I impressed them enough, if I saved myself by being cool enough.....this is a miserable way to live.
I thought back to a place where I heard people laughing loudly with no thought of what it sounded like...where people cried freely, where people were free! And I knew that I blew a chance to carve out a little space for grace tonight. Instead I filled it with comparison and competition. I missed my chance to be free in the redemption that comes from Christ alone, not how well I impress a group of strangers. I fell back into plan b- redemption by self.
YICK
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2 comments:
wow, convicting for me also
Call me on sat after 10 my time or sunday night my time?
maybe sat morning while it's friday night here?
Love u-
ok so it is great to actually hear from you
and no your super short comment does not count as a really long email which you still owe me!!!
i hope that your haveing fun and i can't wait to see you when you get into dallas
Peace
Jarvie
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