random ramblings

I don't really know what to write. I have had a pretty busy last couple of days. Yesterday I left the house at 8 and returned at 6 and had to study for another test...so I was busy until 10ish. Tuesday was even worse- left the house at 8am and then got back at 11:30pm. But I was able to hang out with some friends at a party - so it wasn't all work :)
It was crazy as I sat there (at the party) listening to the rowdy conversation, seeing Americans and Iraqis hanging out and having fun- and then I thought about the fact that all but 4 of those people will be gone in 2 months and they are not going to be returning to Amman. It is kind of weird to think of coming back and them not being here. Some of them have become lifelong friends in the last few months. I know that I will have more friends, and different friends next year - wherever I end up. But it is just weird to have the tides of change wash everything so clean so fast.
But in this time of change, we are trying to pack in great conversations and fun times as much as we can. It is like we all know this has a shelf life of 2 months and we are trying to wring out every last drop.
I had a great conversation with FTP about confession and leading by apology (yeah, I know that sounds weird, but we were talking about what it would look like if our "leaders" in the world didn't just say they weren't perfect but actually proved it by apologizing when they wronged us. What a difference that would make in our ides of "power" and "leadership." And then of course, that turned into a conversation about confession and how it is the fuel for my spiritual life. - it was a good conversation!)
And yesterday as I crammed for tests and walked around to tutoring and school - I was just reminded of how I too often crawl back into the darkness because I am afraid of what the light will show (and what I will have to change)...but I am beginning to see that life in the light just allows me to see grace more clearly!
Thanks for all of you who have been commenting on the blog. It means a lot to know that my random ramblings are being read (and that you guys care enough about me to care about what is going on in my life!) thanks!